OK, sit tight, because this is going to be the fastest shortest review The Dreaded Press has ever published. I keep two piles of promo CDs in The Hall Of Mirrors: the ones that I intend to keep, and the ones I intend to give away once they’re well clear of the release date. “Dear God” by Avenged Sevenfold has gone on neither pile. It’s the first one I’ve ever snapped in two immediately after listening to it.
Why? Because I’ve never been sent such a tawdry limp wank of a record to review before. The only vague hint of interest in “Dear God”’s insipid made-for-VH1 balladeering is the lap-steel guitar that shuffles around the edges of a song so staggeringly inoffensive and derivative that Avenged Sevenfold should write a formal apology to every single music mag hack who has ever misguidedly called them ‘innovative’ or ‘exciting’. Or ‘metal’, for that matter.
The one negative adjective I can’t apply to “Dear God” is ‘forgettable’ - because over an hour after listening to it, I still want another copy for the pleasure of smashing it a second time. If straining out this completely worthless and unoriginal crap in the name of getting some daytime radio airplay is the best Avenged Sevenfold can manage for their corporate masters, it’s no bloody wonder Warner and the other big labels are feeling the pinch.
Dear God, indeed. In summary - utter shit; four minutes of your life you’ll never get back. Avoid … if you can.
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Posted in Music reviews |
Tags: Avenged Sevenfold, Dear God, radio-rock, wank
July 7th, 2008 at 1:09 pm
Just bought the album Avenged Sevenfold, and Dear God is easily the best song on the album, followed closely by Afterlife, Lost and Almost Easy.
If you like good music, then you’ll like Dear God (the ending slightly reminiscent of Hotel California, dare I say it). Nothing wrong with thinking outside the box and expanding your horizons !!!
[& also not heard any of their previous stuff]
July 7th, 2008 at 1:51 pm
If “Dear God” represents musicians thinking outside the box and broadening their horizons, we’re in much bigger trouble than I thought.
July 10th, 2008 at 4:38 am
i think thats a very unfair review , granted a lot of the newer avenged sevenfold stuff is crap in comparrison to their old stuff however i think you’ve gotta appreciate that theyre doing some interesting stuff on the guitars on to song and basically heading back to what they grew up on , the productions good , the vocals are wank but i feel you were a tad harsh there fella
July 10th, 2008 at 11:09 am
Well, you’re entitled to your opinion, John, and I’ll admit I was never much of a fan to start with. But if the best defence you can manage of a major-label rock act with a huge budget at their disposal is that they’re “doing some interesting stuff with the guitars” while admitting that “the vocals are a bit wank”, I think it’s fair to hold them up against smaller bands with less money at their disposal, and find them seriously wanting in inventiveness, originality and artistic integrity. Your mileage, of course, may vary.
July 15th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
avenged sevenfold webpages
July 15th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
QED.
July 20th, 2008 at 7:54 pm
i agree with your points i just dont find completely trashing a band in a review is completely neccasary granted a review is in theory an “opinion” so you are very much entitled to your own as am i, i agree its a crap song , but theyre still doing better than most musicians which is fair enough no ?
theres about 10,000 bands out there that shud be in there posisition i agree however no point in being bitter now right ?
July 21st, 2008 at 7:29 pm
I’m not bitter, John; I just find records like this immensely disappointing. And I would say that I haven’t trashed the band, I’ve trashed the track - there’s no doubt in my mind that they could make far better records than this, but instead they’ve taken the choice to follow the easy cash. That’s their right, of course; but as you say, it’s also my right to call it out for being clichéd lowest-common-denominator radio-rock.